I can think of multiple times I should have died. Missing death by seconds, or changing my mind on something.  I wasn’t supposed to survive after Sophia’s birth. Pre-eclampsia should have progressed to eclampsia.  I should have died. If that timeline had gone as it was supposed to, then Dahlia never would have existed.  What…

It has been 10 months since I lost my beautiful Dahlia. 10 months that I have been waiting to wake up from this nightmare.  10 months. My baby, gone. 10 months ago I failed her. It only took 10 minutes of argument. Only seconds of me losing my temper and scolding her to make her…

She was only 12 when I lost her. Her sister is 16, and like most 16-year-olds, she is so busy. She has a busy social calendar,  plus school and sports. So even though I still have my 16yo, I feel like I don’t have either of my babies sometimes.  She was gone at camp last…

The world should have ended 9 months ago when my world ended. How can people keep going? The most beautiful light burnt out.

10/31/2024, our 20-year anniversary,  was the last true happy day I will ever have. Nate and I enjoyed each other, had fun walking around. The girls had a blast with their friends. Dahlia and Sammie came back early to each Nightmare Before Christmas while they sorted candy. Dahlia was my spooky buddy. How will I…

I am Ang, Angel, Angelina, mom, momma, wife, momma to animals and auntie to so many. I am also someone with a massive hole in my heart. Its not just broken or shatters, because that menas it could be fixed. No, there is a gaping hole. My amazing Dahlia is gone and has been gone…

I need to scream today.